Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Day 260: Loving life right now

Work aside, today is a good day. My clothes are fitting very well now, I'm getting close to my goal weight, and I feel FABULOUS! My stomach seems to have stabilized and I can eat most foods now, which is a nice thing. Since I can't eat a lot, I'd rather get a really good meal that has good flavor and nice texture rather than some cheap junky food that's all quantity and no quality. My emotional storms/rages seem to be drifting into the past now, I guess the hormonal balance has finally kicked in and hopefully the mood swings will just be a bad memory from here out. I feel stronger and faster than before and I'm actually looking forward to getting to talk to a plastic surgeon about getting my excess skin removed. The original referral didn't pan out, so I have to talk to my doctor again.

The thing about the excess skin is that as quickly as I lost the weight, there was no way for the skin to tighten up and keep up with the weight loss. It has tightened some, but not enough, especially on my abdomen and legs. I never thought of myself as vain before, but I can't stand the look of the sagging skin on me. It's honestly uglier than the fat was. I know it sounds completely shallow, but it's the truth. If you are going to have style, you must be true to the truth!

Once I get the skin removed, I will probably drop another 15 to 20 pounds and several clothes sizes. I can't wait!


Monday, September 26, 2011

Day 258: Monday weigh in and doctor's appointment.

So I stepped on the scales today to discover...body weight of 232 pounds.That's 3 pounds down for the week, 161 pounds lost since surgery, and 188 pounds lost overall. I'm within 7 pounds of my goal weight and I feel fantastic. The temperature was pretty mild at work today and I restarted my walks and that felt good too.

I had a doctor's appointment today and my ultrasound came back clean and he gave me the referral for the plastic surgeon to consult on getting the excess skin removed. He says that based on some things in my record, the surgery is a medical necessity, so my insurance should cover it. I'll have to call them tomorrow to ask.

Now it appears that I'm approaching the end of this part of the journey, but not to worry. I'm not intending to stop writing the blog when I get to the end of this journey. I'll just be starting a new path onto maintenance. I'll also start posting some more advisory style blogs for those who are also considering or on their own journey now.

Speaking of other people on their journey, Today is Cindy's four month anniversary since being sleeves and she is down to 209 pounds.That makes 70 pounds she's lost to date. I'm pleased with her progress and very proud of her. She's set her mind to bettering herself and she's doing it. That's what we're all doing, I suppose.

Do videnja!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Day 257: Major NSV Today!

Well, I finally broke down and went to get some new clothes at JCP today. My work slacks were just too big to deal with anymore. I sifted through the clearance section and found three pairs of slacks that looked nice,  not like the crap I usually see in the clearance sections at the big and tall man's stores. They were size 40, and were marked down to 13.50 apiece. I tried them on and they fit just about perfect. I wandered around the store looking at shoes and shirts, and worked my way back over in the men's section (Not the big and tall section) and saw some nice leather jackets on sale for 35.00, marked down from 80.00. I tried on the XL jacket, and it was too big for me! I was very excited when I tried on the L and it fit almost perfectly, just a little snug in the shoulders and arms. I spent a total of 65.00 with my discount coupon. That was less than I was expecting to spend for just 2 pairs of slacks.

For me, that is a major NSV on a couple of categories. I can buy a smaller size than I was expecting, I can buy in the normal men's section, and I can save money in the clearance sections. I have to say, I'm very pleased with the results of my surgery right now. I'm within 10 pounds of my goal weight and I'm able to buy much smaller clothes than I was ever expecting to wear again. I thought the smallest I would ever get into again would be a 2XL or an XL, not a L. This is the kind of thing I like to write about in this blog, but that kind of thing doesn't happen nearly often enough to maintain the blog on a daily basis. It also wouldn't give an accurate depiction of everything I've gone through over the last 9 months.If all I talk about are the good things, then someone considering the surgery and reads my blog might get the wrong idea that it's all happy happy joy joy once you have the surgery. I'll tell you right now, it isn't all happy happy joy joy. Most days are just like any other day, some days absolutely suck and others are all HhJj. Just like normal life. I'm at the point now where I can eat anything and my stomach can tolerate it, I just can't eat as much of it. I still keep my water and protein intake up, but I can eat whatever I want now.

I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow and talk to him about the skin removal surgery now that I'm so close to my goal. I just hope we've gotten enough records of issues to justify getting it covered under my insurance.

Sain bisu!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Day 256: Still rebooting...

Sorry, loyal readers, but the muse is still in reboot mode. I'll get back to the writing soon enough.


Friday, September 23, 2011

Day 255: Nothing to say today

I'm still reeling a bit from yesterday's post and I'll need a little time to refocus and reboot my muse. Today just doesn't feel conducive to writing this blog. I'll be back later.


Thursday, September 22, 2011

Day 254: Admission of the truth

As I mentioned in my prior post, I've been ruminating on something for a while now, and I've gotten the whole thing worked out in my head now and I'm going to talk about it with absolute honesty now.

I started this blog to record my own weight loss journey, but I also use writing as a form of therapy to get hings off my mind. I find that if I'm in some sort of emotional turmoil, the writing helps me deal with it. Anyone that has been following my blog from the beginning or has read the entire blog from the beginning knows the turmoil I've been dealing with for the last 10 months. Now I can justify anything I write about as examining my mental state which is just as important to weight loss as anything else, but when I start questioning my own motives for writing about something, it's time to do some serious self examination. My recent posts about my amorous activities with Stephanie are a prime example of this. I can say that I'm sharing this with my loyal readers because they want to know how my life is progressing or that a particular review might help out another person having similar issues. I can say all that, but I had an eye-opening discussion with Cindy about those posts and she told me how hard it is for her to read these posts and that maybe she should stop following the blog. MY initial, defensive reaction in my head was "No one is forcing you to read my blog. This is my blog and I can write about anything I want." But the reaction I gave to her was one of sympathy. That made me start thinking about what I've been doing. Consciously, I don't want to cause Cindy any pain or discomfort. But subconsciously, I suppose I've been doing it intentionally knowing that she reads the blog. Once I actually admitted to myself that it was possible that I did that, I had to acknowledge what I was doing. Stephanie probably wouldn't like me talking about it either.

Now for the hardest part of this blog entry. Knowing that I caused Cindy pain, however unconsciously, isn't my modus operandi. I have to acknowledge what I did and I can't justify it to myself. If I can't justify it to myself, I can't expect to justify it to anyone else. What I did was wrong.

Cindy, I'm sorry that you were hurt by what I wrote. I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't do it consciously, but I know I did it.

I also owe an apology to my loyal readers for doing what I did. Many of you would support me, but as I said, if I can't justify it to myself, I won't expect anyone else to accept it either.

Do svidanja.

Day 253: I know I missed a day!

I couldn't even come up with a good "blank blank blank" post, so I decided to let it go yesterday. With changing my goal weight, that means the weight loss phase of my journey is almost completed. Then I move into my maintenance phase and see if I can just stay at that weight for a while. I'm very excited to be this close to my goal weight and I'm curious if I had stayed with my goal of 200 pounds if I would have reached it in a year. Of course, my body might just continue to drop weight whether I want to or not. I've been doing some research and if I can start building up my muscles, that would fill up the loose skin and minimize any future surgeries I might need to consider. For what the skin removal surgery would cost, I could get corrective surgery on my eyes and do away with my glasses. Something more to consider.

I do have something more significant to discuss, but I'm still ruminating it in my head and I will post it when I've given it more significant thought.


Monday, September 19, 2011

Day 251: Monday weigh-in and a decision

I woke up, skipped the mantra, did the necessary and then stepped on the scale for a weigh in this morning of 235 pounds. That's 6 pounds lost over the last week. I'm actually very impressed by that. I woke up expecting to see no movement whatsoever, and I see a 6 pound loss. I can work with that. But I noticed a couple of things today that made me make some new decisions. The first thing was my face. I've got bones and hollows appearing that weren't there before and it's a little disconcerting. The second thing is my hands. I have veins and tendons appearing and that is also a little disconcerting. I'm thinking that the people around me that are saying I should stop losing weight are right. My doctor said it, my parents and sister said it, even Cindy hinted at it a couple of times. I've decided that I'm resetting my goal weight to 225 pounds. With my height and build, that will be a good weight for me. Once I stabilize that weight, I can look into the skin removal surgery and that will probably remove another 10 to 15 pounds.

Goals and attitudes can change over the long course of weight loss, and I'm a perfect example of that. I thought I wanted to make that 200 pound goal more than anything else, but I really just want to be healthy and happy. I think that I won't be that healthy at 200 pounds. I think that extra 25 pounds would be all muscle and I don't want to lose any muscle. If I'm not healthy, I know I won't be happy.

Do videnja!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Day 250: my own milestone

So today is day 250 since my surgery. I consider that a milestone to be acknowledged. 250 days since I underwent the surgery that has made such a major change in my life. I'm currently 179 pounds lighter than my heaviest weight as an adult. I've dropped 4 shirt sizes and 7 pants sizes. I'm borderline getting into a size 40 jeans, but I'm not going to buy another pair of jeans until I get into size 38s. It's just not going to happen. I will probably buy a couple of pairs of slacks here before too long since all of my current slacks are size 46's and they are just too big for me to wear. I'm going to wear them for the time being, but they are too big. My body proportions have changed at every level, and I really wasn't expecting the changes at the degree I'm seeing. I have lost not only weight, but I also lost something that was exceptionally precious to me. I know I haven't really gotten over that yet, but Stephanie is helping me in that regard. I have reconnected with old friends and made new ones. I have learned to acknowledge my limitations and weaknesses and to counter them with my new capabilities and strengths. I've acknowledged within myself that I can't please everyone and I can't even like certain people, no matter who may want me to like them. Not only is it not going to happen (ever), but in one case, the person in question has become and always will be my Mortal Enemy. If it ever comes down to a fight between us, I'll unleash every nasty trick I've picked up over the years and show them a whole new level of physical pain.

I've said it before, I'm a warrior by nature and I have no qualms against using my training and trickery in combat. I'm stronger and faster than I used to be, and that's impressive all by itself. I've decided that if someone steps in and takes something from me, they deserve no less than my undying enmity. If someone is foolish enough to decide to fight me, then they deserve no less than maiming or destruction by my hand. I will no longer just sit back and let someone take from me. I'm no longer going to be an emotional tampon, a punching bag, or a banker. If the only time I hear from you is when you're needing something from me, not any other time, then I know we're not friends anymore and I don't need to bend over backwards to help you any further.

If my words have hurt you, then you're one of the people who have hurt me and you know how you have treated me in the past and you have a very short timeframe to apologize for any wrong you have done me. If you have taken advantage of my good nature and willingness to help those I care for, if you want to keep me in your circle of friends, you had best start treating me as I deserve to be treated. I am not going to apologize for standing up for myself ever again.

Good night.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Day 249: Another observation and a very personal review

Stephanie came over today and at one point, we were just sitting and talking and she mentioned that I'm turning into all angles. She said that my shoulders and chest just seem to form a single block of bone and muscle. That actually made me feel really good to hear that said. I'm losing my curves from my flab and becoming the angular man I used to be. That means Stephanie and I are going to match up nicely since she's all curves, which I like.

I'm about to do a review of a very personal sexual nature, so I'm giving my disclaimer/warning as usual now.If you don't want to read it or are easily offended, I recommend stopping your perusal of my blog now and I will just offer you a pleasant "have a good one" as you log off.

Last chance...

No going back from here...

Now that the easily offended have been weeded out...

Stephanie mentioned a new toy she had read about called the "WeVibe". It's a small, flexible vibrator that stimulates both the clitoris and the g-spot simultaneously. It's also small enough to use during sex so the male get stimulated by the vibrations as well. If you buy it locally, it will run about 150.00. You can buy it directly from the manufacturer for 99.00. I found it on Amazon for 60.00 plus shipping. The vibrator is about 7 inches long and normally in a horseshoe shape, but as I said,it's flexible. It's covered in a medical grade silicon and has a charging socket that is covered by the silicon so when you remove the charger, the silicon just closes over the socket. The controls are also on the same end as the charger, a simple one button control that cycles through the 7 settings. All in all, it's a fun little device. We discovered that to get the vibrator positioned properly, it needs to be lubed pretty well with a personal lubricant such as Wet. The lube also helps with the man penetrating once the vibe is in place. Once we got the vibe in position, Stephanie started responding immediately. Once I achieved penetration, She was less than a minute from orgasm. by the time I reached orgasm, she had a second orgasm. All in all, this was one of the better purchases I've made for a partner to share. If you want something to spice up the sex life, I highly recommend the WeVibe.

Do Videnja!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Day 248: Sometimes I love other peoples' observations

Today was one of those days. I had a group of my co-workers stop me and callback over to their area because they wanted to ask me some questions and the next thing I knew, they were asking me about my weight loss, how I was feeling, and mentioning how good I was looking. And this was a bunch of guys! Figures I couldn't get that response out of the one woman in the department I would actually have an interest in dating.

But things are going very well with Stephanie, with us trading playful texts back and forth dozens of times a day.We can really only see each other on the weekends right now, but it makes the weekends that much sweeter for both of us. I was never so glad for getting my surgery as I was the day Stephanie and I had simultaneous orgasms. I don't think that would have been possible for me as a heavyweight. That was an incredibly powerful experience for both of us and it also built a powerful bond between us. If I continue to my goal weight I could, in theory, regain one more inch which would be great for both Stephanie and I.

I get the feeling that when I really set my mind to working out, my weight will just melt off. But at the same time, I also get the feeling that until I start working out, my weight is going to hover at the 240 mark. If on Monday I'm still at the 240 mark, I'm going to find a way to get myself to the workout room.


Thursday, September 15, 2011

Day 247: Fall is approaching!

Cooler weather and layered clothing. I love the fall and winter months. There are more Holidays this time of year, starting with Halloween and ending at New Years. And this year I'm within 40 pounds of my original goal weight. I have more people telling me I should probably stop losing weight and I'm seriously considering listening to them. I'm going to discuss it with my doctor at my next appointment and see what he has to say. In addition to being lighter by about 180 pounds, I also have someone special in my life now and I'm looking forward to taking her home for Thanksgiving to meet my family. It's going to be interesting and fun.

I can start working out more now, and I'm looking forward to that as well. My life feels like I'm getting on track and moving forward finally.

A short entry tonight, but it will do.


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Day 246: Self realization, or in the words of the immortal Socrates, "I drank what?"

I've decided tonight's epistle will be dedicated to the act of Self-Realization. If you made the decision to get sleeved, the you had to realize that you weren't really happy at the weight you were (or are) and you have decided to do something about it. If diet and exercise alone didn't work, you needed something more. And let's face facts, if it worked, you wouldn't be a sleever now. But that is such a small step in the path of self realization once you start this journey that it needs to be just added to the list of things to examine.

As the journey progresses, things are going to change. As your weight starts to drop off, your body will change, requiring additional realization. You can lose 40 or 50 pounds and not see the difference in your eyes, but everybody else will see it for sure. You need to look at older pics and take new ones as you lose weight so you can see what everyone else is seeing. Those body changes are also going to have mind and spirit changes tagging along and you have to acknowledge them. You are no longer going to be the fat person you used to be. I can give you an example from my personal experience. A few days ago I was walking by a window at work and I looked out and saw 3 guys that were all members of the Big Man brigade. All plus sizers, all heavyweights. And as I looked out, I realized that I was no longer a member of the Big Man brigade. Simple self realization. I might never be a buff hunk, but I'm not fat anymore, either. Most of my belly now is loose skin, and not much fat left behind it. Same for my arms and legs. My butt, too, unfortunately. Makes those long days on a desk chair a tiny bit uncomfortable after a few hours. But I wouldn't trade what I've lost for any amount of comfortable sitting. Not now that I can sit in theater and show seats without wedging my self in. It's a great feeling.

I'm seeing all sorts of changes mentally and physically now. A few months ago, I was pushing to get to that magic goal of 200 pounds. Now I'm thinking that goal might be a little light for me now. Given my height and build, 215 to 220 might be more realistic, especially when I really hit the gym and start building my muscles up. Worst case scenario, I'll buy myself a gym membership as a Christmas present. I've had enough people both related and otherwise tell me that I should consider stop losing weight. I'm not ready for that yet, but I'm not so focused on reaching that 200 pounds now. I want to hit 225 for sure before I consider stopping the weight loss. I'm feeling really good right now where I am, and I think a lot of sleevers will feel the same way when they get to a certain point. Let's face it, most of us are not in our teens or twenties and it might be unrealistic to think we can get down to those teenage weights. Some will, and more power to those who do. I've lost so much weight now, that it's a major victory no matter how you look at it.

I've won this battle, as far as I'm concerned.


Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Day 245: I'm really hating overtime

We're getting a minimum of 4 hours of overtime every week lately and it's getting annoying. That extra 2 hours per day is just draining me. My job is completely brain work and it really wipes me out having to focus that extra 2 hours. The temperatures are finally starting to drop thanks to the current inclement weather and I am very happy about that. When the temperatures hit the solid 80's, I'm going to start my daily walks at the office again. I feel like I need to really start exercising again and get my weight moving downward where it's supposed to go.

I'm a little burned out right now and I'm going to go do some painting and try to unwind from the day. I'm really worn out tonight.

Do videnja!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Day 244: Monday weigh in

So wake up, mantra, necessary and step on the scale for a body weight of 241 pounds. I'm glad in that I'm back down to where I was 2 weeks ago, but I hope this bouncing shit stops soon. I would rather stall than have it bounce up and down. I HATE it.

On the other hand, people have been mentioning that I'm looking thinner than before, so it could very well be that I've got inches disappearing while my body adjusts to prep for more weight loss. I wish you could have seen Stephanie's face when I said I was going to buy some skinny jeans when I got down to my goal weight. She just raised her eyebrows and said, "Unless you're 12 years old, you don't need to be wearing skinny jeans. Just get some jeans that fit you the way they're supposed to." That made me chuckle because she's right. It also made me realize that I'm starting to obsess, however minutely, on the size of clothes that I'm wearing. I'm wanting to wear the smallest, tightest fit possible whether I should or not. From now on, I'm going to keep a very important maxim in mind: Just because it fits doesn't mean you should wear it.

I mean, I'm broad shouldered and barrel-chested, and when I get to my goal weight, my waist and hips will be small enough that I'll look plenty skinny no matter what jeans I'm wearing. I'm going to redesign my work clothes to something nicer looking and different from everyone else's clothes. Right now, I'm doing polo shirts and regular work slacks. When I start redoing my wardrobe, I'm planning to go with banded collar shirts, vests and possibly rider's trousers and boots. I've been thinking of myself as an Urban Gunslinger for some time, I might as well look the part. Some guys will settle for the Redneck pseudo-cowboy look, but I'm not one of them. Plaid shirt, straw hat and beat up jeans? Not for me.

So that's the entirety of my blog for tonight.

See y'all later!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Day 243: Not even going to try to catch up...

Or apologize for missing yesterday. Stephanie came over early yesterday morning and we spent the entire day and night together. We left late in the morning because I wanted to buy her something cute and sexy at the mall and we wanted to get some lunch. The mall trip turned out to take about 3 hours between her wanting to buy something for her best friend's wedding in October and me buying her something cute at Torrid. We stopped in at Lane Bryant first to do her shopping and while she was paying for her clothes there, guess who came walking in to do some shopping of her own. Cindy, she needed some new work pants because everything she had was too big for her now. I walked up to say hi and she didn't recognize me at first. Probably because she wasn't expecting to see me there. She actually stopped and did a double take. She's only seen me in my work clothes recently, so she wasn't expecting to see my in my t-shirt and jeans. She was happy and surprised to see me and mentioned how good I was looking. I said my goodbyes and Stephanie and I went over to Torrid to get her something cute and sexy. From there we went over to the Kai Fight Shop because I wanted a new T-shirt. Stephanie mentioned that I needed to get new Jeans because the ones I had on were way too baggy around my ass. I pointed out that I wasn't buying any new jeans until I solidly get into a size 38 and she was going to have to deal with my baggy jeans. Right now, if it fits my ass, my middle will dunlop over the belt and I don't want that. From there, we went over to Streets of New York for some pizza for lunch and then we went back to my condo for some private time and then nap time until about 7 when I got up to make us a light, healthy dinner. Spinach salad, some tender steak strips, and some flatbread to round the whole thing out. After that, I tried to get her to go out and have some fun, but she really didn't want to leave the condo, so we put a DVD in. Of course, she wanted popcorn to go with the movie and I don't keep any in the condo so I had to go get some. Then we were able to watch the movie (Ghostbusters) and just enjoy ourselves. Then we went to bed and I slept until about 630 and I woke her up with my patented good morning wake up call and then I went to get some breakfast for us. I got her a pumpkin spiced latte from starbucks and a pumpkin muffin from dunkin donuts and I got myself a pumpkin donut. I know I'm not supposed to eat it, but I don't think one donut occasionally will hurt. Of course, my weigh in tomorrow may say different. If it does, then I'm going to call that an oh well and move on with what I have to do.

I'll keep posting as regularly as possible, but I'm not going to beat myself up for missing a day. Especially when it's because I'm with someone that makes me happy.


Friday, September 9, 2011

Day 241: Unpleasant Friday

I woke up feeling pretty good this morning, but after I took my supplements, my stomach went haywire on me. Just before I clocked in at work, I had both ends spewing for volume and power. Not fun. It kept right up and I was in the bathroom 8 times in two hours. After my break, I went home for the rest of the day. No point of staying at work if I have to run to the bathroom for 8 to 10 minutes 2 or 3 times in an hour. It kept up until about 4pm when I left to go to my ultrasound appointment. That really wasn't any better. It's pretty uncomfortable having an ultrasound probe pressed into your kidneys. With the way I'm built, the ultrasound tech kept hitting my lowest ribs which [FOXTROT]ing hurt! My ribcage is wider, deeper and longer than normal, so he couldn't help hitting my ribs. Not his fault, but damn that hurt.

I'm considering heading out to the Revolver for a couple of hours tonight to have a little fun. Stephanie will be coming over tomorrow morning for the two of us to have a lot of fun, but I know if I stay around the house tonight I might get bored and have some fun too soon. Not that that's a bad thing, but we both promised to wait until tomorrow so our fun would be more...intense. I'm really wanting that level of intensity right now. Stephanie and I are compatible on so many levels and I think we're both bonding on a level that neither one of us expected. We started out as just friends with benefits, but I think we're both looking to go to another level. I think we're both looking to a future together and I'm not scared or hesitant about it. It feels right. More right than I've felt in the last 10 months.

I guess I finally let go of the past. It's time to embrace a new future. It's time to move on.

Do svidanja.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Day 240: Fershlugginer' scales...

One of these days, when I get the urge to check my weight in the middle of the week, I'm gonna kick something barefoot to remind myself to stay off the scale. I stepped on the scale and my weight was up by 3 pounds. I'm not pleased with that. Truth be told, I'm kind of pissed off right now.

On the weight loss scene, Cindy has lost 4 pounds this week and is solidly into the 2-teens now. I'm really glad for her finally breaking that 220 barrier and I hope she continues the weight loss at that high level. I had several months of rapid weight loss and I hope she gets the same thing now. Sometimes it takes a while for the body to kick in on the weight loss and get everything moving. She really does look fabulous and I know she'll get even more beautiful.

I'd better stop before I make myself all melancholy.

I had a sudden revelation when I woke up this morning in that I realized that I didn't keep my water intake up last week, and I think that might have had an impact on my weight loss. If I keep my water intake up during the week, my losses are better. I'm going to focus on getting at least 80 ounces of water in each day from now on and see what happens.

See y'all later!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Day 239: Drawing a blank

Wow. Work today must have just sapped the muse entirely. I can't come up with anything that sounds like it's worth expounding on tonight.


I guess I can wax poetical on my weekend. Candace and I went out to my niece Amber's wedding and I was so glad I made the effort to get there and share that special day with Amber and Andrew. She was such a beautiful bride and I was honored to be invited to share it with the family, both old and new. With their marriage, the family has grown to include the Howells, Andrew's family in Wales. I met several of them, and they are as nice a family as you could hope to have join your own. Some very pretty girls in the mix. They just look much older than they actually are, which is enough to make me start shuddering about Candace in a few years. I'm going to be in dad Hell when she's old enough to date and develops a real interest in boys. The reception was nice, and mixing with all the friends and family was nice. Most of them knew me on site from Facebook and my blog, oddly enough. In that regard, I was at a disadvantage. Outside of family members, I had no idea who anyone was.

About 9 or so, the reception started winding down so I let Candace go home with her grandparents and I went off to meet with my friend Chrisy at the bar she was at Friday night. It was a divey little country bar called Trout's. She was there for a birthday party and she asked me to go along. I got there and swapped my black vest for my rebel vest and I fit right in. There were a few cuties there, one of which was seriously focused on me for the entire night. Chrisy got tired about 1 am so I took her back to her place and then went back to the bar. In the short time I was gone, the cutie's friends apparently had an attack of common sense and told me she was going home with them. I just shrugged and went back to Chrisy's house to get some sleep. More on the cutie later, though.

The next day, Chrisy and I went to breakfast with her daughter and her boyfriend and their son. I tried some pumpkin pancakes with pecan butter and they were GOOD! I mean, really good. I had about a quarter of one pancake and I was full. Chrisy and I went back to her place to watch some TV and chat for a while before I went to get Candace from her grandparents. Chrisy has a couple of dogs, including a purebred Wiener dog and I thought Candace would like to play with them. I was right. Candace had a good time playing with the dogs. I took her back to her grandparents' house and then went back to get Chrisy. We went out to Chuy's for dinner and to see a band that was playing called Diver Down. We shared a tri-tip sandwich and then we had some drinks. I stuck to lemonade. She was putting away a beer called shock top, apparently an orange flavored ale. I wasn't really paying attention to her drinking since I was having a conversation with Carin. Carin and I have been friends since high school, and we tried dating about 22 or 23 years ago. It didn't work out for us. We valued our friendship to much to complicate it with anything more than that. I suppose we could have worked past it, but we didn't want to risk screwing up the friendship. A while after that, the cutie showed up as well, and she asked me where I had disappeared to the night before. I told her what her friends had said and she got a tad upset at them, but didn't pursue me any further Saturday night. She started hitting on another guy there. Again, I just shrugged and walked away. Carin nudged me and said, "You can do better than being her 'flavor of the night'." I responded with "More importantly, I don't want to catch the 'disease du jour'." I'm actually happy that nothing happened between the cutie and I. It made me realize how fond I have become of Stephanie and that I don't want to screw up what's building between us by getting a taste of a "little strange" when I'm out of town. Chrisy had too much to drink and got sick so I had to drive her home. I went straight to bed once she went into her room and spent the next hour texting with Stephanie.

Sunday I spent with the family. We just sat around talking and sharing time together.My mom made her spaghetti (which Candace and I love). Then we just spent more time talking and joking and having a good time. Monday morning Candace and I headed out back to Vegas.

So that was my weekend in a nutshell.


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Day 238: Summer really needs to end.

I'm truly tired of the oppressive heat of summertime. I want the temperature to drop by about 15 degrees so I can start walking and working out again. I want to start building up my muscles and working off my loose skin and the heat makes that difficult to do. I want to get back to walking at work and going to workout after work. I'm less worried about losing the weight now and more concerned with just getting in shape. Stephanie likes me the way I am right now, but I think I can do better for both of us. I want to be in better shape for me and more attractive for her. Not that she doesn't think I'm attractive now, but I'm wanting to be better for her. I'm finding that it feels better to improve myself for someone that likes me just the way I am rather than to do it in some vain hope of regaining something I lost. I haven't asked her to become exclusive yet, but soon. I want to wait for the right time.

Maybe I'm finding my way to the happy ending everyone wants for me.

We'll see.


Monday, September 5, 2011

Day 237: rested, recharged and ready to go!

Here it is Labor Day and I'm back in Vegas after a long weekend in Bakersfield. I spent time with my family, old friends, and I feel like I'm ready to continue on with everything. I saw my niece's wedding (barely got there in time) and she was a beautiful bride. I had so many people telling me how good I was looking and how well I had done with my weight loss to date. It felt really good to hear all of that.

My niece (and now my new nephew, I suppose) were both so happy to see me. He actually came to me later and thanked me for going to all the trouble to make it for their wedding because it made her so happy to see me. Amber and I never spent a lot of time together when she was growing up, due to the fact that I was in the military and then I moved to Vegas, but she and I are very much alike. I saw an old picture of me taken just prior to going into the service and I could see the resemblance between me and my niece in that picture. We have the same eye shape and cheekbones. We are clearly related by blood.

Well, I've had my rest and recuperation and the blog will continue as normal tomorrow.

Min Tian Jian!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Day 233: Ready for a break

I'm ready to get out of Vegas for a weekend. As soon as I'm ready tomorrow, Candace and I will be on our way to Bakersfield, hopefully getting there in time for my Niece's wedding. It's going to be hitting very close, but with a little luck we'll make it.

For the first time since I started this blog, I'm actively planning to not post anything over the weekend. I'm giving my muse a break until Monday night when I return. I think a few days away from the blog will renew me and the Muse. My apologies in advance, gentle readers, but I need a break. I will post a whole fresh blog on my weekend, but I'm not going to worry about it until Monday. I'll make some mental notes about significant events, but I'm not doing more than that. If something really, truly significant happens, I'll post but other than that: nope, not happening. I'm going to spend time with old and new family members and lots of old friends I made contact with during the reunion.. I'm looking forward to it.

So until Monday, loyal readers, this is your not-so-humble scribe signing off.

Do videnja!