I've decided tonight's epistle will be dedicated to the act of Self-Realization. If you made the decision to get sleeved, the you had to realize that you weren't really happy at the weight you were (or are) and you have decided to do something about it. If diet and exercise alone didn't work, you needed something more. And let's face facts, if it worked, you wouldn't be a sleever now. But that is such a small step in the path of self realization once you start this journey that it needs to be just added to the list of things to examine.
As the journey progresses, things are going to change. As your weight starts to drop off, your body will change, requiring additional realization. You can lose 40 or 50 pounds and not see the difference in your eyes, but everybody else will see it for sure. You need to look at older pics and take new ones as you lose weight so you can see what everyone else is seeing. Those body changes are also going to have mind and spirit changes tagging along and you have to acknowledge them. You are no longer going to be the fat person you used to be. I can give you an example from my personal experience. A few days ago I was walking by a window at work and I looked out and saw 3 guys that were all members of the Big Man brigade. All plus sizers, all heavyweights. And as I looked out, I realized that I was no longer a member of the Big Man brigade. Simple self realization. I might never be a buff hunk, but I'm not fat anymore, either. Most of my belly now is loose skin, and not much fat left behind it. Same for my arms and legs. My butt, too, unfortunately. Makes those long days on a desk chair a tiny bit uncomfortable after a few hours. But I wouldn't trade what I've lost for any amount of comfortable sitting. Not now that I can sit in theater and show seats without wedging my self in. It's a great feeling.
I'm seeing all sorts of changes mentally and physically now. A few months ago, I was pushing to get to that magic goal of 200 pounds. Now I'm thinking that goal might be a little light for me now. Given my height and build, 215 to 220 might be more realistic, especially when I really hit the gym and start building my muscles up. Worst case scenario, I'll buy myself a gym membership as a Christmas present. I've had enough people both related and otherwise tell me that I should consider stop losing weight. I'm not ready for that yet, but I'm not so focused on reaching that 200 pounds now. I want to hit 225 for sure before I consider stopping the weight loss. I'm feeling really good right now where I am, and I think a lot of sleevers will feel the same way when they get to a certain point. Let's face it, most of us are not in our teens or twenties and it might be unrealistic to think we can get down to those teenage weights. Some will, and more power to those who do. I've lost so much weight now, that it's a major victory no matter how you look at it.
I've won this battle, as far as I'm concerned.
Adios!
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