Day 16: Flattened yesterday, fighting to my feet today

Yesterday was a bad day for me emotionally. All I wanted to do was curl up in a dark corner and cry and wallow in my misery, but I didn't. Anytime I felt the downward pull, I made myself get up and go do something. Walk, go to the workout room, go take care of things outside the home, or if I was also feeling a blast of anger, I would practice my weapons forms. Anything to keep pushing myself and keep active.

So right now, I'm having my morning protein shake and I'm going to go for my first walk and workout this morning before my doctor's appointment. What happened yesterday cannot be allowed to distract me from what has to be more important right now. My weight loss and health. That has to have priority over anything else.

She posted a comment on her FB page yesterday about "one step forward, two steps back" and I'm way beyond curious about what that meant. But I'm not going to open a conversation to find out. She wanted me to step back, so I'm not going to try to contact her. If she wants to contact me, that's fine. But I won't open the conversation. That's on her. My heart will likely leap with joy if she does, though.

Something she said was that she's aware that by cutting me free if she falls on her face with this guy, I may not be there to come in and pick up the pieces or start over. I'm not going to just sit around waiting but if I'm not involved with anyone...well, I know me and my heart. I'll likely forgive her and start over again.

Time will tell, I suppose.

Min tian jian.