I had a brilliant blog written up for today, but when I went back and read through it, I realized that it had nothing whatsoever to do with my journey and was getting way too personal so I decided to trash it and cut to the chase about how someone on this journey needs to practice a bit of discipline, particularly when strong emotional states can trigger stupid or reckless behaviors. Something happened last night and I got angry and upset right as I arrived at the Revolver. I ended up drinking more than I normally would and I drank faster as well. I got blitzed pretty quickly and I was hoping that maybe it would relieve the anger, but it didn't. If anything, it ramped it up to murderous levels. If I had kept my discipline in mind and watched my drinking both in quantity and frequency, the anger might have dropped away. Instead, the extra alcohol undid my inhibitions and allowed the anger free rein. So I proceeded to get more and more pissed off as the night went along.
Now when I say I drank more than I normally would, I had three drinks as opposed to my normal two and I had them pretty much back to back instead of drinking water in between the drinks. I was buzzed and kept it that way for a long time. I got home safely and immediately hydrated myself and went to bed. Unfortunately, the anger is sticking around a bit and I don't know if that's an effect of the alcohol or if it just riled me up that badly. And this is not one of my monthly moods, either. That mood colors everything, where this is very specific and sticking around on that particular subject.
I guess it comes down to if you have something that triggers your behavior pattern, keep your eating and drinking discipline first and foremost in your mind and don't let it slip.
Auf Weidersehen!
No comments:
Post a Comment