Day 218: Is life too short?

I was relaxing, watching Two and a Half Men, when one of the characters said something about life being too short. It occurs to me that they are right. Life is too short to be screwing around with things that don't really matter. That's one of the reasons I got the surgery, so I wouldn't die too early. In the long span of the universe, our lives aren't even the blink of an eye. It's a sobering thought, for example, that when Mozart was my age he had been dead for 7 years. Now I ask myself what have I accomplished. Well, I fought in a war, raised a child, managed to destroy three relationships, earned a degree and most recently lost over 170 pounds. I guess I've done fairly well all things considered. It's life, not a script. It can't be designed, it has to be lived. And that's the key to life. We have to live it.

In the regard of living my life, I am not going to keep things in check anymore. I'm going to say what I am thinking and express what I'm feeling. So off to the races with the whole thing.

To Mom and Dad, you two have always provided me with love and support. You pushed me when I needed it, you cheered me when I was reaching for my goals, you applauded me when I succeeded and you comforted me when I lost. I love you guys

To my sister, Dawn. I know we fought like cats and dogs when we were living under the same roof, but we've grown up and learned to love each other the way siblings should. You found a great guy in Scott and I hope you two are very happy together. Love ya, big Sis!

To my bro, Wayne. We don't always see eye to eye, but we've always looked out for each other and that's what's important. We're brothers in all but blood. You're the older brother I wanted growing up. Anywhere, anytime you need me, I'm there for you.

To Connie. I'm sorry for what I did, destroying our marriage the way I did for ...well, nothing in the end. But we've become better friends and we do have a beautiful little girl together. I sometimes think that I should have stuck to my guns, but I was selfish and thoughtless and couldn't see beyond what I wanted right then. I couldn't see what I was losing. I still love you, but I know I've fallen too far and we've drifted too far apart.

To Darci. We started out as friends and became best friends, and then we both let things get away from us. We both know now what caused us to fail as a couple, but thanks to the miracle of forgiveness, we're back to being friends now. I hope you have a wonderful life with Kendall. Love ya, Starlight!

And last, but not least, to Cindy. Despite everything, I still worry about you. I still care about you. I still love you with all my heart. There isn't anything I wouldn't do to have you back. You being in my life motivated me to become better and to improve not only for myself, but also for you. Thank you for everything you did for me. I love you.

I'm done for tonight.

Catch y'all on the flip side.