Sunday, August 21, 2011

Day 222: WTH? How did that happen?

Out of sheer morbid curiosity...well, curiosity, anyway... I stepped on the scales this morning to check my weight. I wasn't expecting any massive change, but I saw one. I've dropped 5 pounds so far this week. My official weigh in will be tomorrow, but I had to check it this morning for some reason. Normally, I'm very good at maintaining my weigh in discipline, but today wasn't one of those days.

I'm starting to question what is the cause of this ultra-rapid weight loss. I mean, I want to lose the weight, but this seems a bit extreme. Normally, once you've lost this much weight, it slows down to a crawl for the last few pounds, but it seems that my delay over July was my body resting and prepping for the final sprint to the finish line. As ridiculous as this may sound, I almost think that my deep-seated desire to get a certain someone back is fueling this change, like in my subconscious I believe that when I get to my goal weight things will change to the way I want them. But that's way too dangerous to let that belief stand. If that's the case, if it fails, I could get into a total spin out and literally waste away past my goal weight. Anybody that saw me when I graduated from Basic Training will tell you that at 175 I was too skinny and sickly. I was clumsy and looked like a concentration camp victim. Maybe Dawn was right and I am losing too much weight. People that know me and have known me for a long while aren't recognizing me now because of the weight loss. What does that say about the whole thing? The people that know me best can't recognize me anymore? And is that just due to the weight loss or have I also changed so much in the way I act now that they don't see me inside this new body of mine?

It's a little scary to think that my whole being has changed that much. But I'm probably reading too much into the whole thing because I've had my mindset prepped for the weight loss to slow down as I get close to my goal weight. I could be one of the ones that the surgery worked a miracle for and I'm just going to hit that goal weight quickly and go into maintenance mode. More than likely, I'm a "results not typical" patient.

Ah well, I guess I'm probably worried about nothing.

Cheerio!

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