Day 99: WTF?

I'm really confused about the latest issues that have popped up. I'm trying to settle some things from my past so I can move towards my future, and a certain someone got all pissed of at me for accepting a friend request from Darci on Facebook. I really don't get it. Now she doesn't want to talk to me, chat with me, or anything. I just don't understand. There's nothing between Darci and I, other than a past event that we wanted to reconcile and put behind us. She needed to apologize and I needed to hear that apology and forgive her. That was all there was to it, but she just doesn't want to listen. That hurts me as much as when she broke up with me. She wanted to remain friends, but...I don't know now.

What I do know is that I did the right thing for me doing what I did. That awful, gnawing feeling that I've been carrying around for so long finally went away. I had gotten so used to it that I didn't realize it was there all that time. I'm glad to be rid of it.

I have so many people around me telling me how awesome I am for doing what I've done. They're all so impressed that despite everything, I try to maintain a cheerful disposition and offer my story and experience with the surgery to anyone that asks. And I'm beginning to believe them. I am awesome and incredible and I'm standing up straight and proud and marching to the beat of my drum now. I still love her with all my heart, but it's time for me to love myself more than someone else. If she decides to not speak with me again, if she decides that her conclusions are more important than the truth of why I did what I did, then so be it. That's her decision and a loss for both of us. I'm tired of losing friends lately. I don't want to lose anymore.

Pama Mine'.