My parents came into town for a quick visit today, I just wish I could have gotten out of work earlier so we cold spend more time together. They are very proud of my weight loss and they are very happy to see me actually losing my weight once and for all. They are two of the three people that not only love me and care about me, sometimes I think those three people love and care more about me than I do myself. Well, at least they used to. Over the last few months, I have really regained my self confidence and my self worth. I've learned to love myself as much as I love anyone else, and that is really a key component to success in anything.
I've determined that for any good relationship, particularly a sexual relationship, there has to be a degree of both selflessness and selfishness. If you can love yourself as much as you love your partner and give when you need to give and take when you need to take, it has to be good. In all honesty, I have to admit that I would always put my wants and needs second to my partners wants and needs. And sometimes that doesn't work. I got myself so used to making sure they were satisfied that I let my own pleasure take no importance, and that was ego busting for them because they thought I didn't enjoy it. I wouldn't push for sex because I figured if they wanted sex, they would initiate the connection, so I just waited patiently. That apparently sent a signal that I would only have sex if I had no choice or I felt like they wanted the sex. It never occurred to me to initiate the contact and make them feel like they are sexy and desirable. Well, from now on, I will be more aggressive and I will make sure that I am selfish enough to get what I want and make them feel like they are not just loved, but wanted.
Bonjour!
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