Day 115: Bad belly day

Uggghh. Woke up with a not-right feeling in my stomach today and it didn't get any better as the day went along. Just felt awful for most of the day. No matter what I did, I didn't feel any better. Walking, water, eating, nothing. I guess we all have days like that. I suppose. Now I'm getting a little headache as well. Just one of those days, I guess.

I can't wait for Friday. The new Thor movie comes out and I'm taking my daughter to go see it. It should be fun.

There are times that I miss being able to sit down and eat dinner with...well, anyone, really. But it feels like such a waste of money to go out and eat when I can't eat that much. I hope in time I'll be able to tolerate more things, but I'm only 4 months out right now, so that's going to change in time. I guess I just miss the social aspect of eating right now. I really don't miss the food. Don't really care about that part of it. Another adjustment that will come about further down the road.

I realized today that my daughter is starting to grow up. I don't mean just getting bigger. She's starting to mature. Her responses are less like a child and more like a tween, which is what she is now. She's becoming more independent in her thought and speech and making her own decision of what she wants. That's both saddening and thrilling at the same time. I'm saddened in that my baby is growing out of being a baby and thrilled to see her develop her own personality and her own way of thinking. Well, like any parent will tell you, she might grow up, but she will always be my baby. I was there when she was born and I was the first person she saw in the nursery. I can still remember the feel of her tiny hand in mine, the grip of her tiny fingers on one of mine. Her first words, her first crawl and walk. Those events will be etched into my memory forever. I'm looking forward to other firsts. Her first date, her first day in high school, so many others to come. And with my weight loss, I have a much better chance of actually living to see her do so much more. I see now how close I really was to dying far too young because of my weight. Never again will I let myself get like that. I might never reach my goal weight, but I'll accept being within 20 pounds of my goal weight on either side.

And right now, I want to offer thanks to the people that helped me get to where I am now. First to my parents for being there for me at the beginning of my surgery and for listening to me when I needed it. To my daughter for trying to understand and help me as I needed help. To my sister Dawn and her Boyfriend Scott for listening to me when I needed them most. To my Bro Wayne for trying to protect me even when I didn't want to be protected. For all my friends on Facebook who have also cheered me on or offered encouragement online. For Doctor James Atkinson, my surgeon, for being brilliant at what he does. And mostly to Cindy for being at the surgery and cheering me on every week as I lost my weight and giving me encouraging words when I needed them most. For giving me hope when I needed it the most. For being there when I needed her more that she will ever realize.

Thank you all.