This is one of those blank days. I don't really have anything specific to say on the weight loss front today. Protein is good,water is good, I got my walking in. So that's all good. Hormones and moods are pretty well balanced now which makes me feel SO much better. I'm not swinging from melancholy to homicidal now, which is better for everyone around me. I'm pretty much back to my normal self now, which I haven't felt in a long time. I forgot how good it feels. I got myself so hooked on the idea that losing my weight would fix everything that I didn't let myself consider that I would need things like Testosterone to keep me balanced and healthy. The sleeve is a wonderful tool, but it can't do everything that we need as we age. I'm 42 years old now. My body is going to need medical assistance for things now that I didn't have to worry about before.
My moods and emotions are normalized now, but some things still hurt me. They probably always will. I can't just shut off my feelings, as convenient as that would be. I can't do it for myself and I won't do it for someone else. It's just not happening. Maybe in time, those feelings will fade or move to someone else. I kind of doubt it, though.
It's hard to let go when you know in your heart what's true. When you know what's real. When you can see it in the other person when you see their eyes light up when they see you. That's real.
Do Svidanja.
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